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Year 2002
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My trail has been so far-
2003
-> South Africa
-> Namibia
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Monday, December 01, 2003
[Bollywood]
Everyone tries to make a claim to fame, here is my punitive claim.
It was an astute tout who instantly recognized my buddy acting talents. I got the job instantly. The next day saw me head off in a private bus with 3 other 'actors' on to set location, which was a promised 30 minute drive that actually was 3 hours. Time concepts in India are somewhat different...
The location was a fort situated against a beautiful hilly backdrop. The large fort built by the English also served as a jail, where a real gallows still exists. Breakfast and we were whisked away to a nearby hotel to change into costume; colonial police. Khaki shorts and shirt complete with breast pocket chain, a blue conical hard hat and a beat up wooden object that could resemble a rifle.
On location. 2 main actors and 4 extras and about a ton of people milling around whose purpose today still mystifies me; I am sure most of these people didnt move from there viewing spot. The wonderful Indian hierarchical bureaucracy shined through today. No one seemed to know anything about what was about to happen right up until 3 seconds before it needs to be done. The head director talks to one of several assistant directors who inturns communicates with our 'agent' and finally the convoluted message reaches us. A classic case of the arse not knowing what the head is doing...
Finally my moment to shine. Walk straight for 3 metres, stop, and look stiff as the Indian villain was 'roughly' escorted past by 2 other coppers. Our hero villain is on his way to the gallows and says a teary good bye to a most drop dead gorgeous girl (ofcourse!). Also proves my suspicions that the beautiful girls in India are only to be found in film and TV.
I must have walked that 3 metres at least 8 times and stood waiting in 'starting position' a good bloody hour. The sun would move behind a cloud and suddenly the lighting men worked frantically for another 15 minutes adjusting things, or the villain didnt stumble the right way, or the villains sweetheart didnt show enough sadness etc.
Despite all frustrations by the last take I was superb. I can hear my voice now as I give my acceptance speech at the next 'extras and erroneous' film awards.. I walked with such colonial stiffness, stopped with precise co-ordination and stood proud like a man with distinguished command; it will surprise me if the director doesnt cut me onto the floor...
A tedious long day with a long drive back, a day where nothing happens for hours, then 30 seconds of work and more waiting for hours, amidst confusion and uncertainty that India is so good in serving. It surely didnt look like a glamorous profession to me. However, all future high paid acting jobs should be directed to my manager on JP'sStarDom@entertainment.com :-)
PS- cant remember the name of the film, a strange name in the local language of Tamil. Dont expect it to be released soon in a cinema near you either!
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